A Little Personal Body … er … Auto Care Never Hurt

Jason Falls
3 min readFeb 21, 2023

NOTE: I wrote a mediocre version of this in my weekly newspaper humor column in 1997. I’ve updated the mediocrity for 2023 because fuck that newspaper.

I was sick. Guh. Not just sick. The kind of sick where you say, “I’m sick. Guh.”

The cocktail of cough syrup, Benadryl and a muscle relaxer kept me drifting in and out of sleep … or feudal Japan … I couldn’t tell the two apart.

The television was on, but only to keep me from panicking that I was going def. It was that kind of sick where you…

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Jason Falls

Writer & published author. Marketing strategist & podcaster. Dad. I think I’m funny, too.