How Jury Duty Can Kill YouI have been summonsed to jury duty twice in my life. Once was in Birmingham, Ala. (Yes, I lived there at the time.) The other was in…Dec 6, 20231Dec 6, 20231
If You Ever Pass Jennifer Anniston on the Street …It was late in the day. Dusk in New York City. Summer of 1996 or 1997.Dec 5, 20231Dec 5, 20231
I hope this is good. But I want to go home.Comedian Tom Segura opened his 2018 Netflix special Disgraceful by saying, “I wish I was home right now.” His bit went on to suggest that…Nov 15, 2023Nov 15, 2023
The Catch-22 of Writing FunnyNote: This is a revision of a piece I allegedly wrote in 2007, but have no recollection of. It felt like it needed a facelift. So here…Nov 13, 2023Nov 13, 2023
When the world is against you …The next time I hear some Gen Z-er rattle on about having to be their authentic self, I’m going to slap the shit out of them. That way we…Jul 11, 20233Jul 11, 20233
If I disappear …If I disappear one day, it won’t be that someone has killed me. Nor that I have killed myself. There will be no mystery. There will be no…Feb 26, 20231Feb 26, 20231
A Little Personal Body … er … Auto Care Never HurtNOTE: I wrote a mediocre version of this in my weekly newspaper humor column in 1997. I’ve updated the medicrity for 2023 because fuck…Feb 21, 2023Feb 21, 2023
For a pain in the ass, back surgery giveth and taketh away“You’ll need to bring in your medical power of attorney document, just in case.”Jun 6, 20221Jun 6, 20221
The current truth of white angst for black sufferingIf a story begins with “From my perspective as a Southern white man …” it’s probably not worth reading. This is a cruel irony for a writer…Oct 28, 20215Oct 28, 20215
